


Can't Let Go

by roguegyeom



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Freeform, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, OC is named Sungwoo, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Unrequited Love, and lowkey that one tweet about jingyeoms height difference uwu, buckle up my guys this is gonna be one wild ride lol, dancer!bambam, fencing captain!jackson, fuckboi!jaebum, im apologizing in advance for the non-con, introvert!mark, jackbamjae are lowkey side relationships/characters, juniors!markbum/jackjae, lowkey dont understand how i came up with the plot, marksonjae are best friends, my first got7 fic pls go easy on me, popular!jinyoung, protective!youngjae, sophomores!jingyeom/bamwoo, this is basically every cliche relationship placed into one fic im sorry, this is gonna be lowkey v sad, this was inspired by mayday lol, timid!yugyeom, um why do i always make jaebum the jerk, violence will involve a knife at some point, youve been warned, yugbam are best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-25 18:06:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14384142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguegyeom/pseuds/roguegyeom
Summary: "I won't let you go, I can't anymore."(Jinyoung has a beautiful secret, Mark fell in love, Youngjae has doubts, and Bambam just wants the truth.)





	Can't Let Go

    Park Jinyoung first met Yugyeom during their freshman year of university. Jinyoung still remembers how what started off as a boring day suddenly turned wonderful. He had been invited to a fraternity party celebrating the beginning of the school year. Unsure of whether to go or not, the freshman gave into the words of the frat boy hosts. They all wanted him there for some reason; perhaps it was because the boy was extremely sociable, making friends left and right. After a long day of getting to know the school and the people, his only thoughts were to rest; what better way to relax than hang around the crowd of soon to be adults, socialize and gain even more connections?

    It was during that frat party, that Jinyoung first laid his eyes on his future partner. Eyeing the room full of both under and upperclassmen, he deeply searched for someone to entice him. Parties were known to be the place for hookups as well as blooming relationships, and it was because of this that Jinyoung had decided to stay a little longer.  However, he had grown bored, tired of hearing every junior scream over losing or winning the next round of beer pong, uninterested in the seniors smoking through their bongs and juuls. He regrets not bringing a book for himself to read. But then again, who in their right mind would choose to read at a party, a frat party no less?

    With each hour passing and no one catching his eye, he finally decided to leave.

    Making his way to the exit, he suddenly stopped as a group of students began to form a circle in the middle of the living room. Cheering ensued and he couldn’t help but wonder why everyone suddenly became excited.

    “Whoa! Is that a freshman?! He’s really good!”

    “Oh my god, he’s great! He’s also really cute…”

    Jinyoung turned around and walked towards the commotion. The boy was left in awe as he saw two males in the middle of the circle. One of them seemed uninteresting, attempting to dance while in an intoxicated state. He was laughing, but carelessly throwing his limbs all over the place. Was he drunk on beer or high on weed? He didn’t care, for the one he kept a lingering gaze on seemed completely sober, or perhaps intoxicated with something other than alcohol.

    The boy stared as the one who caused the commotion began to move to the beat of the music. Jinyoung could tell the boy knew exactly what he was doing, hips and chest hitting every single note. He didn’t think he’d ever seen someone so caught in a moment before. Studying the other male’s body, Jinyoung concludes that the boy is either a freshman or a sophomore. Said underclassman was slim, arms and legs at a great proportion to the rest of his body. He appeared to be two inches taller than the other, dirty blonde hair neatly styled only exposing a bit of his forehead. But what seemed to pull Jinyoung in the most was his face; clear skin, rather plump lips, a small dark mole underneath his right eye, and a nose beautifully curved along the bridge, sticking out a little more than the average nose.

    Jinyoung couldn’t deny the boy was handsome. The male was especially handsome when he allowed himself to be completely immersed in music, movements swift and sharp; it was almost as if he had been doing this for his entire life. The dancing male spun around more times than Jinyoung could count and suddenly he was finished.

    Standing still, the dancer made eye contact between the two of them, showing off a small smile. Such an action made Jinyoung blush and he quickly turned his head away. However, his movement did not go unnoticed.

    _‘Maybe I should go compliment him,’_ he thought to himself. But how would he do so when there were already so many girls lining up to talk to him?

    Trying to think of a better way to approach the taller male, Jinyoung ran into the kitchen. He found himself a little less nervous in the empty room and made his way towards a countertop. He rested his arms against said countertop and wondered about the mysterious male. Who exactly was he? What was he studying, what year he actually was, what his name was…

    And all of his questions quickly received an answer when he heard a voice speak up behind him.

    “Hello, I noticed you watching me over there. I’m first year student Kim Yugyeom, and you are?”

    Jinyoung froze at the sudden interrupted silence. Turning around to face the voice, he indeed found himself face to face with Kim Yugyeom, the one who managed to grab the attention of every single person currently attending the get together. It seemed he had also startled Yugyeom, as he fell silent and stared into the shorter males eyes while allowing a soft blush to appear across his cheeks. Yugyeom stared for about a minute longer, and suddenly broke the eye contact, shyly smiling at the ground.

    “Ah… I’m sorry for staring but… y-your name?” facing the floor, his eyes looked up and Jinyoung could’ve sworn he felt something.

    “Jinyoung… Park Jinyoung. I’m also a first year. I’m majoring in literature… what about you?” he wondered if he had asked too quickly, but all worries disappeared at the other’s response.

    “Music,” Yugyeom said with a smile. “But, I’m thinking about pursuing a minor in dance as well… either that or I’ll switch to major in dance since that’s what my best friend is doing.”

    “Ah…” Jinyoung gave a small nod but was unsure of where the conversation was going to lead to. He continued to stare at Yugyeom, hoping that the taller boy would continue to speak, but it seemed he was too shocked to say anything.

    The kitchen smelled of alcohol with just the tiniest hint of weed; no doubt coming from all the under and upperclassmen fueling themselves with each substance. Music was blasting loudly in one room, people talking and screaming in another. Of course, it wouldn’t be the traditional college party without a couple or two heading upstairs, most likely to engage in sexual interactions or a simple make out session. Jinyoung wondered if Yugyeom had ever been up there, for he had never seen him until now. Or perhaps, Jinyoung had just missed him.

    “Jinyoung-ssi… do you want to leave?” Yugyeom snapped the boy out of his thought cloud, reinitiating their eye contact. “I, uh, I don’t really like being here… I just came with a few friends but I think I’m gonna head out. Wanna go someplace else?”

    There was a small warning at the back of his mind telling him not to follow this new acquaintance of his, but the feeling in his heart told him otherwise.

    And about half an hour later, they found themselves at a twenty four hour convenience store due to Jinyoung’s sudden craving for coffee and Yugyeom’s craving for instant ramen.

    Soon enough, they found themselves sat at a table, drinking and eating in silence until Yugyeom decided to break it.

    “So uh… Jinyoung-ssi, can you tell me about yourself? This might sound weird but, I think you’re a nice person and if you don’t mind… I would like us to become friends. You seemed to be friends with almost everyone at the party so, why not try with me?” he said while allowing a shy smile to spread across his face.

    He was hesitant at first, but the caffeine from the coffee he was drinking was enough to fuel Jinyoung with enough courage to open up to the other male.

    _‘I don’t think I have anything to lose if I open up,’_ Jinyoung thought.

    Spilling anything and everything about each other, they came to know much more than they thought they would. Yugyeom became fascinated by the thought that Jinyoung could spend hours, days reading books but would love to sing once in a while. Jinyoung smiled as Yugyeom talked about pursuing music in order to help him write a song while explaining he grew up dancing; taking note how brightly his eyes shined. Finding out the taller male was only two months younger than he was, he mentioned he was jealous that someone younger than him could even reach a height higher than him.

    “It’s in my genes, I guess,” Yugyeom smiled widely at the almost compliment and Jinyoung began to feel like something was definitely different.

    Without even realizing it, they had talked the night away. It was almost four in the morning and they were still stuck in the convenience store. They finally decided it was time to head back to their dorms, and fortunately, they lived in the same building. Yugyeom lived on the seventh floor whereas Jinyoung lived on the sixth. The two walked home together, staring at the sky almost barely at the crack of dawn. Jinyoung looked at the moon and admired its beauty, wondering if there was ever anything that could outshine it.

    Once inside the dorm building, they waited for the elevator. Neither of them mentioned the unknown tension that was encasing the two of them once they were inside it. They both wondered if there was the chance they would see each other again, so Yugyeom got off at the same floor as Jinyoung. He walked him all the way to his dorm room and they lingered in front of it for a while. They didn’t seem to know how to say goodbye. Until Yugyeom realized he didn’t really want to say goodbye.

    “Jinyoung-ssi… I had a great time today, do you mind if I get your number? I really would like to see you again… I hope you feel the same way,” Yugyeom held out his phone to the shorter male, a hesitant, but expectant smile formed on his face.

    Jinyoung stared at the phone, but he knew he wanted to see the other again as well, so he typed his number and added himself as a contact. He noticed his fingers shaking, and that caused him to only type in his first name, which Yugyeom did not mind.

    “It’s not like I’ll always refer to you as Park Jinyoung-ssi… thank you.”

    They finally said their goodbyes and Jinyoung entered his room whereas Yugyeom walked towards the stairs to his. The two them had felt a bit empty after leaving, but it would take months for them to realize what the emptiness was referring to.

    Jinyoung lied down on his bed, expecting to fall asleep, when he received a text from an unknown number.

    **82-xxx-xxxx: Hi Jinyoung-ssi! It’s me Yugyeom ^^! This is my number so I hope you save it haha! Goodnight, sleep well!**

After saving the contact on his phone, he began to wonder when their next meeting would be. He thought it was a rather weird thought to already have since they had just met today, but he couldn’t help it. His thoughts seemed to be full with the thought of seeing Yugyeom again.

    They both fell asleep with a smile on their faces and thinking of each other.

    Fast forward to the twenty-second of September, and Jinyoung found himself celebrating his eighteenth birthday with Yugyeom. He was a bit surprised at the fact that the taller boy had gotten him a gift, a book he had secretly been eyeing in the campus bookstore. The two had been hanging out frequently since the night of the frat party, but he hadn’t realized Yugyeom took note of his interest in the novel sitting in the display window of the store.

    “Happy birthday Nyeongie!” Jinyoung blushed at the nickname Yugyeom had decided to give him a week before his birthday but thankfully it wasn’t noticed, unless it was and the taller male decided not to bring it up. To Yugyeom’s delight, Jinyoung finished the entire novel in a day and thanked him over and over again for the gift.

    Fast forward to the seventeenth of November, and Yugyeom turned eighteen as well. Jinyoung had invited him to see a movie together followed by bringing him back to the convenience store they had first ate at. While enjoying a bowl of instant ramen, Jinyoung found his gaze lingering on Yugyeom. Over the course of their four months hanging out with each other, he began to notice small things about his new friend. He would notice how Yugyeom’s nose would crinkle every time he laughed, his teeth exposed in one of the widest smiles he had ever seen. He noticed Yugyeom’s way of smiling shyly would include those features as well as a deep giggle in comparison to the slightly higher pitched laughter he would release every time they would laugh at something hilariously funny. Here at the convenience store, he noticed how long Yugyeom’s fingers were, gently holding onto the chopsticks as he picked up strings of ramen, how his lips pursed as he quickly slurped them up. Jinyoung found himself constantly staring at his lips, the plump lips didn’t ‘puff out’ as much as his, but were still thick.

    His gift to the now-of-age boy was a mixtape he had worked on filled with songs he knew Yugyeom liked, as well as with some of Jinyoung’s favorites that he considered “good enough” to be viewed as dance tracks or potential song covers. He remembers secretly gushing over Yugyeom’s excited expression at seeing the disk case containing the tape, the cover of the case having the words _“To Gyeomie”_ written in red ink. He thought he had never seen the boy as happy as he was on that day, especially when he couldn’t stop repeating the words “Thank you Nyeongie” over and over again. Jinyoung had grown fond of their nicknames but he remembers a random friend of theirs had compared them to couple names. For some reason, Jinyoung wasn’t bothered by the comment at all.

    And when Yugyeom embraced him as a way of thanking him for the present, Jinyoung definitely felt something was completely different. It was the same feeling he felt on the night of the frat party. More importantly, he realized the idea of them being compared to a couple almost made him, joyful? He didn’t understand what the feeling was referring to, but when Yugyeom broke the hug and stared right into his eyes with his signature smile, he began to grow an idea of what it might be.

    When they walked back to the dormitory, he fought against the small urge to reach out and hold the other’s hand, a feeling that recently developed inside of him. He fought the urge to continuously stare at the taller male and focus on every small detail of his face. But most importantly, he fought the urge to turn Yugyeom around and pull him into the same hug they had back at the convenience store. And this urge only seemed to grow stronger by the time they had made it in front of Jinyoung’s dorm room.

    “Thank you for the best eighteenth birthday ever Nyeongie!” Yugyeom told him.

    “Well, you only turn eighteen once, so I doubt you could’ve experienced another day like this one,” he had sarcastically replied.

    Yugyeom let out another loud laugh and Jinyoung thought it was music to his ears. Soon enough, he found himself to be pulled into another tight embrace.

    “My Nyeongie is always so funny,” Yugyeom giggled into his ear. “You know what I meant. Thank you Jinyoung.”

    And when Yugyeom walked away, he felt his touch still lingering on his body. He stood there staring at his back and quietly wished the small moment could repeat itself over and over again. When he went to sleep that night, he thought about the four months they had spent together, and after thinking about every single moment, he finally found the identity of the feeling he never seemed to escape from.

    Yes, the very same night Kim Yugyeom turned eighteen years old, Park Jinyoung realized that he had fallen head over heels in love with him.

    From that day forward, he wished the other loved him as well.

    And much to Jinyoung’s surprise, it had taken Yugyeom one more month for him to realize he also felt the same way. With Jinyoung himself dropping hints about his feelings, he was a bit disappointed to find out the younger male had not noticed what he felt.

    But the two had made plans to celebrate Christmas two days early before they left to visit their families. They had met in Jinyoung’s dorm and spent the entire day watching cheesy holiday movies in order to get themselves into the spirit. Suddenly laughing at a funny moment in a movie, Yugyeom turned to stare at him and stopped.

    “Something wrong Gyeomie?” he had asked him while trying not to let his eyes widen.

    “Nyeongie… I have to tell you something… but I don’t know how you’re going to handle it…” Yugyeom had turned his gaze to the ground.

    Jinyoung titled his head in confusion, “You know you can tell me anything and I won’t judge you.”

    Yugyeom seemed to hesitate for a couple of seconds, but he eventually spoke up.

    “Nyeongie… Jinyoung…,” the younger stood up, Jinyoung followed in his steps. Yugyeom proceeded to grab both of his hands and gazed into his eyes. “Jinyoung… I like you. I-I think I like you as more than a friend… I’ve been feeling this for awhile now but I was too scared you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore if I told you, but I really can’t hide this anymore Nyeongie.”

    Jinyoung stared at him for a solid two minutes. He noticed Yugyeom was searching for any form of an answer in his eyes, but the answer itself was not clear enough.

    So he did what his heart told him to do. He stood up on his tiptoes and grabbed hold of both sides of Yugyeom’s face with his hands.

    “I waited since the day you turned eighteen to finally call you mine… to finally call you my Gyeomie,” Jinyoung gave him the biggest smile he could make, one that made the crinkles near his eyes that Yugyeom loved so much deepen. Letting out a laugh, he proceeded to hug the taller boy, allowing their height difference to form again.

    He felt Yugyeom’s arms wrap themselves around his waist and pull him closer. He felt the warmth of both of their bodies spread throughout the hug, and Jinyoung felt the same feeling he had felt the night of the frat party.

    “Nyeongie… do you want to be my boyfriend?” Yugyeom had quietly whispered.

    “Yes, yes and yes.”

    They spent the rest of the night cuddling until they eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms. The next morning, they went back to the convenience store, and Jinyoung thought the coffee he always ordered had never tasted better. After their small breakfast, they both headed towards the bus stations to go to their own homes with a plan to reunite on New Year’s Eve back at the dormitory. Sharing one last hug, they went home.

    New Year’s Eve came quickly around the corner, and they had decided to count down the seconds until the new year finally came. Every second that passed seemed to make Jinyoung’s heart race even faster. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…

    And when the final second passed, Yugyeom planted a kiss on Jinyoung’s lips making the start of the new year one of the most memorable things he had ever experienced.

    “I love you my Nyeongie.”

 

    Mark Tuan first met the one he would be desperately pining over the same night of the frat party. In fact, it was at that very same frat party that his eyes met the other’s for the first time. A sophomore who found himself to be quite introverted, Mark had no idea why he had shown up. However, it most likely had to deal with the fact that his best friend had dragged him there in order to “improve his social skills.” Mark was not the party type of guy; it was due to his introverted personality that the male never really enjoyed going to such get togethers, much less deciding to talk to more than one person at a time. But according to his best friend, Jackson, “There's a lot of people who think you're attractive, why don't you try finding ‘the one’ right here at this party?”

    He didn’t believe in Jackson’s words, but still tagged along because he pretty much had no choice. He never thought to himself once that ‘the one’ was going to be there.

    Unfortunately, destiny was written a different way.

    It was the night of the party, and he found himself as dressed up as he could get, if one considered an oversized red hoodie and black jeans ‘dressed up.’ He also found himself surrounded by many people drinking and smoking to their heart’s content. He wanted to go home, but he couldn’t; he needed to wait for Jackson and his boyfriend who had decided on a different plan that night.

    “Hey, uh, Mark? Youngjae and I are gonna head upstairs… to do stuff… you fine staying down here by yourself? We promise we won’t take long and we promised to walk back to the dorms together so,” Jackson stared at the younger with his signature puppy pleading eyes, his boyfriend’s hand in his.

    It took a bit of strength for Mark to not deny it. “Um… yeah sure I guess. I’ll wait here. Have fun and remember to use protection.” The male wanted to facepalm at the last sentence seeing Youngjae blush uncontrollably; as if it wasn’t obvious enough what they planned to do.

    “Great! Thanks Mark! C’mon Youngjae,” in a flash, Jackson already had his boyfriend halfway up the stairs, the two blushing and giggling as if they weren’t surrounded by drunk students everywhere.

 _‘Must be nice to be in a relationship,’_ he thought to himself.

    Of course Mark did, in fact, have experience. Having had one long term boyfriend in the past, he knew exactly what it was like to be with someone else. He just wished that the relationship would have lasted longer than it actually did. Eventually, Mark found himself sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, blonde hair falling on the sides of his face, staring at the ground while thinking about the past relationship. He remembered the intimate moments they had shared, his first kiss, his first official date… his first time. But, he also remembered the reasons they had broken up, his partner constantly arguing with him, picking fights over the simple things, being overly jealous. Maybe if the problems had never happened, they would still be together. He seemed to be staring at the ground for too long that he didn’t notice a pair of eyes had landed on him. It took the male around five more minutes for him to look up and suddenly make eye contact with a stranger from across the room. And when the eye contact was made, Mark felt his heart flutter.

    A rush was sent throughout his body and he felt goosebumps begin to form. What felt like an eternity was only thirty seconds, but their eye contact had not broken. It was then, that Mark began to process his feelings.

 _‘Is this the one?’_ he thought to himself. _‘No, no it can’t be… could it?’_

    With Jackson’s words repeating themselves in his brain over and over again, he found himself staring at a sophomore, a boy who didn't seem that much older than himself. Mark noticed he had the most piercing brown eyes that sent shivers down his spine. The other male was very handsome, his black hair parted by his forehead, almost in a comma style, two gold piercings on each ear, body tightly wrapped in a leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans. He appeared to be like the stereotypical bad boy in those teenager movies.

    And that meant Mark viewed himself as the potential female lead… well, male lead.

    Within seconds, the mysterious male began to walk towards him. Heart rate rapidly picking up, Mark stood up and he didn’t know whether to stay or run away. But before he even had the opportunity to make up his mind, he found himself face to face with the one who would eventually have him experience feelings he never thought he would feel.

    “Hey, Im Jaebum, you?” the male, Jaebum, gave Mark a smirk as he placed his thumbs into his pockets while curling his hands into fists.

    “M-Mark,” he shyly replied.

    “Mark… Mark what?” Jaebum’s smirk became a bit bigger, obviously pleased by the effect he seemed to have on the introvert.

    “Ah, s-sorry. I’m Mark Tu-Tuan,” Mark could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. Jaebum didn’t break the eye contact, which only seemed to intimidate him even more.

    “First year or second?” he asked, body slowly inching closer to Mark’s.

    “I-I’m a second year… you?” he cursed himself on the inside for seeming so vulnerable.

    Jaebum hummed in response. “Same, nice to meet you Mark Tuan,” he made sure to pronounce every syllable as clearly as he could, it was clear he knew how to get to Mark.

    An eerily loud silence came between them, but Mark was unsure of how to break it. He stared at Jaebum and took in his stunningly handsome visuals. Although a tough and strong image was given off, he couldn’t help but think the two little moles at the top of his left eye were really cute. Jaebum himself didn’t seem bored, but he continued to stare at Mark as well, almost as if taking in everything he possibly could. The silence was eventually broken when a group of students ran past Jaebum causing an unexpected reaction.

    Jaebum was pushed forward, and the shock made Mark lean backwards until his back made contact with the wall. The other male stumbled towards Mark until his body was only centimeters away, one of his hands pressed against the wall next to the shy boy’s face. Jaebum’s eyes appeared to be staring right into his soul which caused him to swallow harshly. He noticed that the other’s eyes also began to stare him up and down, the smirk never disappearing him his face. Small breaths escaped his lips, the slightest scent of spearmint reaching Mark’s nose.

    Jaebum eventually let out a sigh. “It seems some people will never learn to have manners.” He finally stepped back and Mark felt as if he could breathe again. “Hey, what if we went upstairs? It’s too crowded down here but I would really enjoy it if we talked a bit more. I wanna get to know you… Mark Tuan.”

    “I, uh… actually I’m waiting for my friends. Th-they also went upstairs but-”

    “Good, they’ll be quite busy then. C’mon, I don’t bite.” The male let out a small laugh seeing Mark swallow.

    ‘ _C’mon Mark… don’t let yourself be intimidated,’_ he thought to himself.

    And so, Mark found himself following Im Jaebum upstairs, each step he took resulting in a small creak due to the staircase’s old age. They stopped once they had reached the top and Jaebum looked at the other male while he pressed a finger against his lips. The hallway they were currently in had six doors, each one closed signaling the potential occupancy. Jaebum walked past the first two and pressed his ear against each one. He made a face of slight disgust, which Mark found himself thinking it was cute. Once he made it to the third door, his ear lingered against it a bit longer. He finally opened the door and the signature smirk that made Mark’s heart flutter reappeared on his face again. Nodding his head to the side, Jaebum signaled him to come inside, and Mark began to walk forward. While walking, he heard faint moans and cries coming from each door and silently prayed he would not hear Jackson and Youngjae making such noises. He knew they were up here doing something similar, but listening to it happening was not something he wanted to experience… ever.

    Once they were inside the room, Jaebum shut the door closed and proceeded to sit on the bed in the middle. Mark, on the other hand, stood still in front of him, eyes remaining glued to the floor.

    “You seem quite nervous tonight Mark Tuan…” Mark could feel Jaebum’s eyes fixed on him. In a way, he felt almost submissive to the male on the bed, but he tried his best not to be dominated by him. The fact that he was being referred to by his full name did not help the situation at all.

    “C-can you… can you please just call me Mark?”

    “Oh?” he could hear the small surprise in the other’s voice. “I see. Well then, Mark, why don’t you tell me about yourself? We have a lot of time for me to hear your life story, or whatever you choose to tell me from it. But, don’t just stand there awkwardly, come here,” he patted the space next to him on the bed.

    Mark went to sit next to him, but he left a noticeable gap between them. “W-why don’t you start first? I-I’m not really… I’m not really great at these things.” He had his hands clasped on his laps and stared at them as he began to twiddle his thumbs together.

    “Well, in my case, there isn’t really much to tell,” Jaebum let out a chuckle. “I already told you my name, and I’m a second year who’s currently undecided. I think I’ll end up somewhere in the arts, possibly fine arts since I really like drawing and painting. Hmm, I also drive a motorcycle in case you’re interested in that type of thing. Saving up for a car as well. But enough about me, I want to know about _you_. So let’s hear it.” There’s a slight change in his tone, almost as if he were demanding that Mark speak up.

    And so Mark did. “Uh… I told you I’m also a second year. I’m majoring in finance. I think it’s… really cool that you’re going to choose art. I live on campus in one of the cheap dorms, but my friend and his boyfriend are saving up with me so we can move to our own apartment. My birthday is September fourth. I can’t think of anything else to say I’m sorry.” The apology came out a bit rushed, and Mark became nervous as he saw Jaebum stiffen.

    “Do I frighten you Mark?” Jaebum turned to stare straight at him, the piercing gaze always catching him off guard. “My birthday’s January sixth, so I understand that you might be… a bit intimidated by me,” he chuckled once again and Mark felt goosebumps arise again. He pressed his lips together before he continued to speak. “Saving up for an apartment, huh? I actually have an apartment of my own… you could come over sometime if you’d like. I bet we’d have _a lot_ of fun together.”

    An alarm instantly went off in Mark’s head. From the minute their eyes met for the first time, he knew there was something wrong about everything. He just didn’t know what the reason for it all was. What was it that Jaebum wanted from him? There was a heavy feeling in his stomach that told him he definitely did not want to find out.

    “I-I uh, I have to leave now… m-my friends… I’m sorry.”

    Mark quickly got up and power walked to the door, only to feel a sudden strong grip around his left wrist. Before he could even react, he was pulled back and spun until he came face to face with Im Jaebum. There was only a small distance between their faces, Mark’s right hand now rested on the other’s chest and the other was still in Jaebum’s tight grip. Looking into the slightly taller male’s eyes, he notices something that wasn’t there before; and it definitely shone bright enough for him to see.

    He cursed himself for finding Jaebum extremely handsome, but even if he was attractive, he had a strange aura to him that he knew would be considered dangerous.

    “We weren’t done here Mark. I understand you may be a bit worried about your friends, but right now it’s just you and me. And, well, do you honestly think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me?” There was no smirk this time and instead, Jaebum leaned forward, slowly attempting to close the gap between their faces.

    “Did you not notice how I look at you?”

    For an instance, Mark thought the other male was about to kiss him. He let his eyes flutter shut as he waited for the moment in which their lips would meet. Finally fallen into the temptation, he knew he was a goner. They had only met about half an hour ago, but he knew he had become extremely attracted to the handsome male. What he failed to notice was that Jaebum smiled, it had seemed he finally got the answer that he wanted. And that was when he leaned back. Mark opened his eyes, and that was when his life began its spiral downwards.

    Jaebum grabbed Mark by the back of his neck, pulled him in and smashed their lips together. Mark completely lost it and allowed himself to melt into Jaebum’s touch. His mouth felt the heat of the other’s tongue roaming inside, producing a small moan to be released. His arms eventually came up to wrap themselves around the other, and that was when Jaebum led them towards the bed. Maneuvering them so that he was on top of the younger, he began to leave a trail of sloppy kisses along Mark’s jawline and neck, leaving a hickey which only seemed to turn them on even more. Soon enough, clothes were discarded and the only sounds emanating from the two were Mark’s small moans, calling out the other’s name followed by Jaebum’s heavy breathing.

    Becoming trapped in the world of lust, Mark allowed himself to be fucked by the one who captivated him since the moment they had laid eyes on each other. Having the other’s hands roam all over his body turned him on so much that he began to cry out in desperation, almost begging Jaebum to enter inside him. And when he did, Mark knew exactly what he felt in that moment.

    Mark Tuan never believed in love at first sight, but he knew Im Jaebum was different.

    Unfortunately, the night was over as soon as it had started.

    While he waited for the adrenaline in his body to calm down, he noticed Jaebum had already begun to get himself cleaned and dressed. He felt a bit confused as to why the other was in a rush, and was about to ask when his thoughts were interrupted.

    “Hey, give me your phone. Unlock it first.”

    Mark did what he was told to do, and he watched as Jaebum typed something for two minutes and then checked his own phone.

    “I gave you my number,” he said as he threw the phone back onto the bed. “Send me a message because we definitely need to do this again.” Jaebum let out a shaky laugh. Mark watched him finish getting ready and then watched him as he proceeded to walk out the door. “Goodbye… Mark Tuan. Hope to hear from you soon.”

    The minute the older male shut the door behind him, Mark quickly picked up his phone. He anxiously scrolls through his contacts until he finds the name he had been looking for. Without a doubt, the name **Im Jaebum** stared right back at him and he tried his best to hide a squeal. He thought of sending him a message, a simple goodnight text or a thank you for… a wonderful night? He eventually decided to not send anything, instead he remembered he needed to meet up with Jackson and Youngjae afterwards. Quickly picking up his clothes, Mark got himself dressed and was ready to leave the room. He had planned to run out of the room and back downstairs before his friends could find him up here, but the universe always seemed to have different plans for Mark Tuan.

    And when he opened the door to leave, the door across from him opened as well, revealing Jackson and Youngjae walking out sweaty and laughing. Their laughter quickly turned to shock and confusion as their eyes landed on their friend.

    “M-Mark?! What are you doing up here?!” Youngjae asked with wide eyes.

    Mark stood there silently, biting his bottom lip while not knowing how to respond.

    “Jesus Christ Mark, we definitely did not expect to see you here,” Jackson ruffled his hair and continued to stare at him. “Wait, if you’re up here… then, oh my god! Oh my god!”

    “Jackson, please calm down, I can explain everything!” Mark nervously attempted to get him to be quiet but it seemed Jackson was too excited to know that he had found ‘the one.’

    He was suddenly attacked by the two other males and pulled into a gripping hug. They bounced around in a circle and Mark couldn’t help but giggle at the warm feeling. As they continued to jump around, Jackson and Youngjae began to scream things like, “tell us who the lucky person is!” or “when will you see them again?” and most especially, “we’re so happy for you!”

    “I can’t tell you who he is until you let me go you guys,” he said while chuckling.

    The two finally broke the hug and eagerly awaited the reveal of the mysterious name.

    “Oh! He?! Ah, out of all the guys here, who has taken the heart of my best friend?” Jackson excitedly asked as he pretended to show a little jealousy at the thought of him being taken by another male.

    “Well, it’s… his name is Im Jaebum,” Mark replied.

    Youngjae let out a surprised gasp as Jackson allowed his jaw to drop. It was the complete opposite of how he had expected them to react. He saw their eyes widen as they turned to face each other and then back at him.

    “Im Jaebum?!” they screamed in unison.

    Taken aback by the confused yelling of his closest friends, Mark furrowed his eyebrows and stared at them. “What?! Why are you so loud? What’s wrong with it?”

    The couple sadly shook their heads and Youngjae was the first to speak up. “You don’t know about Im Jaebum do you?” He continued to speak once he saw the other shake his head. “He has quite the reputation of hooking up with random people. He doesn’t commit to relationships. Actually, I don’t think he’s ever had one. But he loves to spend a night with someone and then never talk to them again.”

    “He is… a fuckboy, if you will,” Jackson interjected.

    It wasn’t enough to convince Mark, however.

    “How come the two of you know about this but I don’t? Why did no one ever tell me about him? I don’t think he’s like that at all, he gave me his number and he told me he wants to see me again. If he was a fuckboy he wouldn’t do that, would he?”

    “Wait, he gave you his number? Youngjae, he’s never done that before, has he?” when he saw his boyfriend shake his head, Jackson pouted his lips together. “I don’t know Mark, I still have a bad feeling about this, just promise us you’ll be careful okay?”

    Mark shook his head and their conversation about Jaebum ended. When they went back to the dorms together, he couldn’t stop thinking about their words. For all he knew, Jaebum was mysterious, but him having sexual relations with everyone on campus? He didn’t want to believe it but he knew Youngjae and Jackson wouldn’t lie to him about something concerning his potential love life. The only way to find out the truth was to see him again.

    About a week had passed since the frat party when Mark finally got the courage to contact Jaebum again. He had sent him a text and anxiously waited for a reply, placing his phone face downwards. Ten minutes later, he had checked the phone and saw only one message. Jaebum had texted him his address along with a specified time which only seemed to make the male even more nervous. Nonetheless, he dressed himself as best as he could and arrived ten minutes early to the apartment building.

    Jaebum’s apartment was located on the third floor, so Mark thought he would take his time and spend the ten extra minutes walking up. With each step taken, he felt his stomach fill itself with butterflies. He couldn’t lie, the excitement of seeing the other male had built up inside him and he wondered if Jaebum was just as excited to see him. Once he was in front of the door, he knocked lightly and licked his lips.

    Sure enough, the door opened and there stood Im Jaebum. Compared to Mark, he appeared to be underdressed, simply wearing a black wife beater along with black jeans. His hair was disheveled, almost as if he had awoken from sleep, but even so, he still looked extremely attracted and the boy felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of him.

    “Hey, you made it,” Jaebum gave a small smile as he motioned for him to come inside.

    Mark walked into the apartment and noticed it was surprisingly clean despite Jaebum’s messy appearance. The first room was the living room which had a black leather couch, a small glass coffee table and a widescreen television. Jaebum made a small gesture, telling him to sit down on the couch, and so he did as he was told. Everything was fine until ‘the one’ sat down next to him and placed his right arm on the back of the couch directly behind him. For a second, he thought the arm was going to rest on his shoulder, but it was just for a second.

    “So Mark, I’m happy you came here today,” the older male said with a grin.

    “Th-thank you for inviting me over… I think your apartment is nice. It’s similar to the one my friends and I want to own someday,” Mark let his eyes drop to stare at his hands, curled up on his lap.

    Jaebum let out a small hum and he seemed to move closer to him. Mark counted ten seconds, and that was when he realized they were extremely close to each other that their thighs were touching. Another five seconds, and Jaebum’s right hand fell on his shoulder and slowly dropped its way down to his waist. He felt his side burning at the slightest touch, and he felt like his whole body was fire when Jaebum leaned into his ear.

    “Do you wanna have some fun?”

    Fifteen minutes later and they were in Jaebum’s bedroom, with Mark being fucked into the mattress of Jaebum’s bed. When they were done, the younger noticed that once again, Jaebum immediately began to clean himself up.

    “You can stay the night if you want,” he told Mark. “There’s two bedrooms so you can stay here and I’ll go sleep in the other one.”

_Oh?_

    “You-You’re not gonna stay here… with me?” Mark tried to hide the disappointment in his voice, but the other surely noticed.

    “I mean if you wanna go for a second and third round, then I don’t mind that at all,” Jaebum began. “But if you’re tired and would rather sleep, then I’d rather go to another room.”

    Eventually Mark gave in, and they went at it two more times. After the third time, he gave into his exhaustion and fell asleep. When he woke up the next morning, the side of the bed next to him was empty. Once he was fully awake, he went to go check on Jaebum, who coincidentally had walked out of the other room. The two exchanged a look, and twenty minutes later, Mark was ready to leave.

    “See you again soon?” Jaebum asked him at the front door.

    “Y-yeah.”

    By the time, the new year had rolled around, Mark went to Jaebum’s apartment twice a week, sometimes even staying over the entire weekend. He enjoyed being in the other’s company, but there was something else he longed for. There was something missing between the two and somehow he couldn’t quite place his finger on it. Jackson and Youngjae were astonished at the fact that Mark appeared to be in a ‘relationship’ with Jaebum, but they continuously asked him if they ever did something other than just sex.

    After some time, Mark began to lie to them. It would’ve worked out, had it not been for him accidentally leaving his phone unattended and Jackson had seen the type of messages sent to him from his supposed boyfriend. He had to drop the act, but that didn’t stop him from ignoring the two whenever they bombarded him with questions.

    It was on one specific day at Jaebum’s apartment that Mark had finally decided to ask the question burning at the back of his head. They had just finished their first round of the night and were just sitting in bed. Mark turned his head to stare at the other and became lost in his facial features. He stared at Jaebum’s two beauty marks above his eyes, he studied the shape of his nose, his lips that he missed making contact with so much. Jaebum was always breathtaking.

    “Why do you keep staring at me like that?” Mark was suddenly brought back into reality. Staring into the other’s piercing gaze, he thought now was the perfect time.

    “Jaebum… can I ask you something?”

    The other hummed in agreement.

    “W-What are we?”

    Jaebum smiled at the question. “We’re whatever you want us to be Mark. Of course, there is one exception. I’m willing to be a lot of things for you since you seem to follow the rules, but the one thing I will never be still needs to planted into your mind.”

    The younger stared at him in confusion, eyebrows furrowed together like the night of the frat party when Youngjae had warned him about the rumors of who he thought was ‘the one.’

    And when Im Jaebum mentioned the only exception that he so desperately needed to remember, Mark Tuan felt his heart crumble into a million pieces.

 

    Choi Youngjae watched as his boyfriend downed can after can of beer, his facial expressions changing from annoyed to amused as the other began to turn red from drinking too quickly. Was his boyfriend drunk? Fortunately not, the male had a somewhat high tolerance but was also fully aware that Youngjae would be extremely upset if he had gotten drunk. As Jackson Wang turned his head to face the other, he smiled his signature warm smile and planted a small kiss on his lips. How could he possibly get angry at that?

    After spending his freshman year attending many social gatherings, it was expected that Youngjae would be the type to love frat parties. This, in fact, proved to be only slightly true. The main reason said sophomore really went to these parties, was to accompany Jackson. He wouldn’t deny that coming to these parties had its perks, however. Especially when the perks included having a good time with his friends followed by a fantastic night with his boyfriend. Yes, he had never once experienced a bad time at a frat party, and this was why his significant other constantly begged him to continue going to these places.

    On this particular evening, they had managed to convince their best friend, Mark, to tag along, but Youngjae could clearly see in the shy boy’s eyes that he was rather uninterested. As he stared at the other, he noticed Mark was staring at a plastic cup, probably filled with water, with his lips pressed together. He watched as Mark placed the cup down, let out a small yawn, and then got up and walked away.

    “Seunie, I don’t think Mark is enjoying himself,” he had whispered to his lover.

    Jackson let out a small laugh and grabbed Youngjae’s hand, “Of course he isn’t, he’s not talking to anyone! The whole point of bringing him here was so that he could step out of the box he placed himself in. He’s probably not going to automatically start talking to the first person he sees, so we need to encourage him to talk to someone he might find interesting. I thought my whole talk with him about finding someone special would’ve helped, but clearly he needs more motivation.”

    “You act like your whole ‘maybe you’ll find _the one_ ’ speech was the only reason he decided to come,” Youngjae’s lips formed a small pout and Jackson pressed his lips against them. “He’s not having any fun and now I feel terrible for inviting him here.”

    As Youngjae continued to think about how to deal with his best friend, Jackson revealed he was always one step ahead.

    “How ‘bout you and me sneak off for a bit and give him the chance to be free?”

    … or not.

    “Seunie!” he slapped his boyfriend’s shoulder. “We can’t just leave him alone!”

    Jackson raised an eyebrow and continued to eye his boyfriend while a sly smile appeared on his lips. It had become somewhat of a tradition that whenever the couple attended a party, they would search for an empty room and proceed to do the things they had done since they became lovers in high school. This night was different, however. On this night, their introverted best friend had finally agreed to come with them, and although Youngjae wanted to sleep with his boyfriend so badly, he felt a great amount of guilt choosing to do so if it meant Mark would be left alone.

    And yet, there he was, allowing Jackson to grab his hand and head over to Mark, who had just returned from the bathroom.

    “Hey, uh, Mark? Youngjae and I are gonna head upstairs… to do stuff… you fine staying down here by yourself? We promise we won’t take long and we promised to walk back to the dorms together so,” as he saw the discomfort in Mark’s eyes, Youngjae had silently wished the shy boy would admit the truth.

    But when he had told them to have fun, and use protection, he found himself as red as a tomato while being pulled upstairs into an empty room.

    “Seunie… what if something happens to him? I don’t think leaving him down there was the best idea. We could’ve just helped him socialize with others instead of this.”

    “Calm down babe, it’s just Mark. He’ll either sit there for the rest of the night bored to death, or if we’re lucky, he’ll get himself someone special.” Jackson wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. “You know, you look very cute when you worry.”

    They pressed their lips together and Youngjae allowed himself to let go of his worries, focusing only on the moment that he and his boyfriend would share. Being pulled towards the empty bed in the room, he knew he would never get tired of this. He would never stop loving the feelings he felt when Jackson’s lips touched his own, the way his hands caressed every inch of his body, or the way Jackson had always asked him if he was okay, followed by softly moaning out his name along with ‘I love you.’ It had always been like this, and Youngjae had constantly felt that it would always continue to be that way. From their first kiss in their second year of high school, to their frequent love making now that they were second years in university, Youngjae knew that what existed between Jackson and him was something much more than a simple crush; it was love.

    And Youngjae’s favorite part of the night would be when they were finished making love and lied beside each other, arms still wrapped around their bodies. Occasionally, Jackson would press a chaste kiss to the other’s forehead, fingers lightly gliding over his waist. On this night, his boyfriend had kissed him after brushing his black hair out of his face. A small hand caressed his cheek, and then the other spoke.

    “Youngjae, have you ever thought of travelling before?”

    “Hmm?” he looked up to try to read Jackson’s expression, unfortunately finding it unreadable.

    “Ya know… leaving Seoul, and possibly visiting another country?” Jackson began to bite at his bottom lips, eyes looking at anywhere but his boyfriend.

    “N-no. I like being here and I wouldn’t want to travel until after we graduated.”

    “You wouldn’t consider studying abroad?”

    “No, not really.”

    “Okay well, what if you absolutely had to?”

    “W-why are you asking me this?” he couldn’t help but allow his voice to raise itself.

    “Shh, it’s okay,” Jackson pressed his lips towards his forehead again. “I didn’t mean to worry you babe, I was just curious… listen, I don’t want to frighten you, but I need you to promise me something.”

    ‘ _It’s hard not to frighten me when you word a sentence like that_ ,’ Youngjae thought to himself. But he nodded his head anyways.

    “Our relationship… nothing will ever come between us, right?”

    “Seunie… is there something you’re not telling me?”

    “Promise me Youngjae.”

    “... I Promise.”

    What followed afterwards was another tender kiss. “I’m not hiding anything from you babe, I just felt like tonight was the night I wanted you to promise me this.”

    Youngjae looked into Jackson’s eyes once more, but recognized that no matter how hard he tried, it was easy to tell when he wasn’t telling the truth. What he was hiding, Youngjae thought he would never know, but if Jackson wasn’t planning on telling him, then he assumed he should move on from it. He allowed a small smile to form on his lips, but the thought of Jackson possibly leaving the country remained implanted in his mind. What if he was just planning something for the both of them? Perhaps the idea of Jackson travelling included him as well? Surely that was the reason it was mentioned in the first place. He hated how he easily got carried away with things and assumed the worst, but with the way his boyfriend had brought up the topic, it was hard for him not to.

    Jackson attempted to cheer him up afterwards, from funny jokes to simple compliments, and Youngjae could admit it helped in a way. The atmosphere in the room returned to the natural state it always was between them, and suddenly everything felt right once more. They continued to lay there together, bodies pressed against one another, laughing and joking as if time had stopped. However, the thought of Mark being alone downstairs entered Youngjae’s brain once more, causing him to get up. But when he attempted to do so, Jackson had pulled him down onto the bed causing him to release a small yelp, arms wrapped tightly against his waist.

    “Seunie, let go of me,” he giggled while he attempted to squirm out of his embrace. “As much as I love staying like this, we need to go back downstairs to find Mark.”

    Instead, Jackson only proceeded to bury his face into Youngjae’s shoulder.

    “Choi Youngjae, I love you more than anything in the world. I can’t let you go.”

    “I love you too Seunie. I love you with all of my heart.”

    Eventually they gave in to the calm atmosphere and made love to each other once more. Lying on the mattress they allowed their tired breaths to return to gentle breathing. They continued to stare at each other a while longer, they gave each other loving gazes until Jackson broke the silence.

    “You’re really cute, and I wish I could stare at you all night, but we need to get back to Mark.”

    Youngjae let out a surprised gasp and jolted up from the bed. “Oh my god, Mark! Seunie, hurry we need to find him! I can’t believe you distracted me again!”

    Jackson chuckled as he shuffled out of bed to search for his clothes. Youngjae allowed his boyfriend to tease him, calling him cute and forgetful as they quickly cleaned themselves up. They were still unbelievably sweaty, but continued to laugh as they told each other jokes. It was until they burst out the door, that they eventually came face to face with Mark.

    The walk home was not as silent as Youngjae had expected it to be. Jackson had become completely entranced with the idea that their best friend had finally found someone he was attracted to. Although they shared a small discomfort on who the mystery man was, Jackson was in love with the idea of Mark being in love. Youngjae took advantage of their loud conversation in order to lag behind the two, becoming lost in his thoughts once more.

_“... what if you absolutely had to?”_

    “What aren’t you telling me Seunie?” Youngjae quietly whispered. He stared at him, taking in his back view. Jackson was everything to him, and Jackson had told him many times before that he couldn’t live far away from him. It was the reason they applied for the same sophomore housing, despite the other being more financially well off to obtain a better dorm. It was the reason they both applied for campus jobs, so that they could save up to eventually buy an apartment together. Everything they were doing was for each other.

    So why was Jackson suddenly bringing up something unrelated to their future? Or did travelling have something to do with it? Youngjae didn’t believe so, but before he could begin to hypothesize any ideas, he was brought back into reality.

    “Youngjae,” the faint voice made Youngjae realize he had completely stopped in his tracks while Mark and Jackson had gone further ahead. “Yo, are you alright?”

    He quickly power jogged to catch up to his friends and his eyes immediately landed on Jackson, who displayed a face rather void of emotion. “Y-yeah Mark, I’m fine. I just got distracted thinking about something.” He attempted to make eye contact with his boyfriend, but it seemed that Jackson did not want to.

    It was two weeks after the frat party, and Jackson had seemed to forget about the entire travelling idea. He began to behave as he had normally, being the sweet boyfriend he always wanted himself to be. Youngjae took note in his behavior, but decided that he would no longer bring up that night so as not to make their relationship uncomfortable. The idea still continued to pick at his thoughts however, but once again, there was not much he could do about it except talk about it to someone other than Jackson.

    This led the confused boy to have a conversation with his finance buddy Mark.

    “I don’t know Youngjae, maybe he was just curious about going back home. He really hasn’t been there in a while, and you know how much he loves his family. He probably just misses them and is hoping to fly back for a weekend for something.”

    As much as he hated to admit it, he knew his introverted friend was right. He was always known to be a sort of peacemaker between the two, helping them whenever they got into arguments or other predicaments. Perhaps it was just Youngjae overreacting due to the possibility of Jackson going back to Hong Kong in order to visit his parents. Youngjae himself had only met them through video chats before, and he had definitely noticed the longing in his boyfriend’s eyes, a signal of him wanting to embrace the two figures who gave him life again. Of course, Jackson had mentioned it many times that he would be okay, finishing his education was his main priority. And whenever the topic of attending university in Hong Kong was brought up, his lover would always turn it down stating he couldn’t bare to live without him.

    “Do you really think that’s the reason?”

    “I dunno. It’s what I think… but you should know him more than I do.”

    Although it seemed impossible, Jackson Wang was actually a very hard to read person. The goofy smile he wore throughout the day had the potential to hide even the most darkest secrets. And yet, everyone continued to view him as one of the nicest and friendliest people on campus. At the same time, many people acknowledged his difficult to read personality, and they agreed that the only person who could see through his potential lies was none other than Youngjae himself. But even sometimes he found the task difficult, such as the pickle he currently found him stuck in. He felt like thinking about it without taking any action would only make things worse, which eventually caused him to look for answers wherever he could. By the end of the academic year, his final option became to corner the fencing team.

    Being a member of their school’s fencing team since he was a freshman, Jackson had developed quite a personal relationship with every member on the squad. If he trusted any of his teammates with a secret, the secret would later be known to Youngjae. It was because of this fact, that Youngjae found himself walking into their usual Friday night practice. He had remained practically unnoticed, his figure sitting quietly unmoving on the bleachers. The sophomore patiently watched as the members took turns facing off against each other, his eyes eventually trying to find their focus on the powerful Hong Kong member on their squad.

    “Final Round: Jung versus Wang!” Youngjae heard the coach announce.

     His gaze immediately landed on the confident and eager to battle member of the team. He watched as Jackson placed the mask on his head, foil ready in his hand as he steadied his stance in order to begin the match. His opponent did the same and their coach went to stand in between them.

    “En garde! Êtes-vous prêts? Allez!”

    The two began their match, their teammates shouting cheers ranging from “C’mon Wang! Show him who’s boss!” or “If you don’t win this one, we’ll never let you get over it Jung!” Youngjae found the match quite amusing; although he was very unfamiliar with the sport, he did understand a few terms of the moves Jackson and the other fencer were making. He continued to view as Jackson performed a simple lunge followed by a circle parry, causing his rival to become distracted. The cheers continued as his boyfriend performed another circle parry, this time managing to disarm the male across from him, his foil landing on the floor not far from them. He performed a thrust, the tip of his foil landing directly on his opponent’s chest.

    The coach blew his whistle, and the fencers returned to their normal stance. “Point: Wang!” He pointed his hand towards the victor who walked over to his teammate.

    “Nice try Jung. First one to make it to five points, or are you done?” Jackson let out a hearty laugh as he shook hands with the one known as Jung.

    “Clearly when it’s against you, I can never win. Congratulations brother!” He soon pulled the other into a tight embrace and the two swayed together. Eventually the rest of the team joined to form a group hug.

    The coach suddenly blew his whistle once more. “Alright team, gather ‘round!” Once the crew was assembled in a small circle, the coach spoke again, Youngjae listened as best as he could. “As you know the University Championship Games are set to begin next semester, therefore we must choose a new leader as our current one, Yoon-ssi, will be graduating.”

    “Hold up Coach, we don’t even know if we received an invitation to participate,” a small voice interrupted. “And you know we usually never do.”

    “Maybe if you let me finish my sentences,” the coach began. “You would all be pleased to find out that our team has been invited to participate this upcoming year!”

    The team burst out in cheers and Youngjae felt a huge, but soft, smile form on his face.

    “And now, without further ado, it is my pleasure to announce that next year’s title of captain of this team… is being awarded to none other than a rising junior.”

    The entire team now fell silent, eagerly awaiting and Youngjae felt his smile fade.

    “Team, our next captain is none other than, Jackson Wang!”

    The entire crew suddenly threw themselves on Jackson, huddling together and jumping around in a circle as they repeatedly chanted, “Wang! Wang! Wang!” and “With Wang comes victory!” Jackson himself was still in shock, but continued to smile as widely as he could as he could not contain his excitement at the news that he would be leading the team in a very important Championship. They continued in their merry stance that none of them had noticed a very happy and quiet Youngjae walk down from the bleachers towards them.

    “So when are you gonna tell him?” One of the members eventually asked Jackson.

    “Hmm?” The newly appointed captain replied.

    “Ya know… when are you gonna tell Youngjae about… ‘it.’”

    And not a single one of them noticed when the mentioned male had made it so he was directly behind his boyfriend.

    “Tell me what Seunie?”

    Jackson quickly turned around, eyes widened in horror as he came face to face with the one he loved. “Y-Youngjae?! W-What a-are you doing here?!”

    “What are you supposed to tell me Seunie?” Youngjae replied, his voice firmer.

    The rest of the team remained silent and worried. Jackson inched closer and took his lover’s hands in his. “Youngjae… the Championships,” he started, his eyes were filled with slight fear. “This year… the Championships are in Hong Kong. Youngjae, I have to go to Hong Kong for the entirety of the upcoming academic year.”

   

    However, the most innocent of the experiences from the one night that started it all would be the case of a certain Kunpimook Bhuwakul. The young Thai seventeen year old was experiencing his first fraternity party as a university freshman, and displayed all sorts of nervousness as he approached the building. As he walked towards it with every shaky step, one of his best friends had calmly enveloped his hand in the other’s, and he suddenly felt a small wave of relief. Such a wave was soon filled with something much more than relief, it was filled with determination, almost a daring sort of feeling. The boy knew what occurred at these types of parties, but he assumed that what he considered ‘the worst’ would not happen to him. It could be said that Bambam was not aware of the actions he would perform the night of the frat party, and perhaps that was the reason why he entered the frat house prepared to drink to his heart’s content. After all, he was with his two best friends, Kim Yugyeom and Lee Sungwoo. Surely there was nothing that could go wrong, right?

    Wrong.

    The clock had barely struck midnight, and Bambam had already found himself just the slightest bit tipsy. He was beginning to lose the balance he once had in his posture, but this did not stop him from drinking even more. He continued to drink beer after beer, until eventually a warm hand landed on his shoulder. He turned around and came face to face with Yugyeom.

    “H-Hey… Yugyeomie,” Bambam said as he slurred his words.

    “Bam, I don’t like how you’re drinking so much. I really don’t think it’s healthy considering you’ve never gotten drunk before. Maybe it’s best if you-” Yugyeom attempted to get his best friend to stop drinking, only to be interrupted.

    “N-No Gyeom! Just… shh,” The Thai teen replied while pressing a finger to his lips. The level of tipsy he had reached was enough to make some of his spit fly onto the taller male. “It d-doesn’t matter, I have S-Sungwoo here with me.”

    At the mention of his name, Lee Sungwoo turned around. He was two months older than Bambam but nowhere near as tipsy as he was. The older male looked at Yugyeom with a slight flush in his cheeks, indicating that his mind was a bit ‘gone.’ And from the way his dark brown hair landed on his face slowly caressing his tired eyelids, it was clearly obvious he was not far from reaching that level. He soon came to wrap his arm around his almost drunk best friend and made sure to lean towards the taller of the three of them.

    “Yugyeom… we’re fine. If anything happens, I’m here to take care of you guys,” he reached his other hand to lightly pat Yugyeom on the back. “This is Bammie’s first party so let’s let him enjoy it, yeah?”

    “You say it as if this wasn’t  _ your _ first party either,” he responded, as a small smirk appeared on his face. From what Bambam could tell, Yugyeom was not drunk, not even the slightest bit tipsy, yet he would not know for sure unless he asked himself. There was no small sway or red flush appearing on his cheeks, just what appeared to be the youngest of the bunch being the most responsible of them all. Perhaps this is what Bambam admired most about his best friend; he cared too much for others that he was willing to give up a night of fun to take care of his friends.

    “Gyeomah are you not drunk? Did you even try any beer or take any shots?” He asked.

    Yugyeom let out a small chuckle while lightly slapping Bambam’s face. “I’m completely sober Bammie. I don’t want to start drinking yet and I probably won’t now considering the two of you are most likely planning to get shitfaced by the end of the night.” His chuckle now turned into a loud laugh, but both Bambam and Sungwoo knew he wasn’t wrong.

    “Just let us be. I promise we’ll be fine Gyeom. Go out and have fun, hook up with someone or something.” Bambam watched as the words Sungwoo told Yugyeom caused the shy boy to become incredibly red and the two soon erupted in laughter. Eventually Sungwoo decided to add on another comment. “Hey, okay, all jokes aside Yugyeom, this is a party! Go dance! You love dancing, why don’t you go show everyone why you’re our dancing king!”

    And that was all it took for the tall boy to leave them alone while he eagerly went out in search of a place to dance. The two continued to drink and drink that they had completely missed the entire commotion by a certain dance off happening in the middle of the room. In fact, they had also not noticed their best friend walk into the kitchen after a certain raven-haired male, until they finally turned around and noticed the pair walking straight out the door.

    “Hey-hey! Bam, look at Gyeom! He just left us with someone else… do you wanna bet he’s gonna get laid?” Sungwoo drunkenly joked to the other male.

    Bambam placed a hand on his forehead, his mind a bit dizzy from the alcohol. “Nah, n-no way. They’re probably going to the dorms… t-that other kid didn’t look d-drunk,” he managed to stutter in between hiccups. “Yugyeom isn’t drunk either s-so they’re probably gonna t-take a walk or s-something if th-they’re not going b-back to the d-dorms. S-Sungwoo I’m s-sleepy, can we leave too?”

    “Yeah… you’re right. Plus they’re both guys so unless they meet up with some girls later, I doubt either of them is gonna get any action tonight.” Sungwoo replied as he drank his can of beer, leaving it completely empty. “Let’s go home I guess. There’s no way they have any more beer left after how much we just drank.”

    The older male’s response had left Bambam rather confused. What did he mean by saying that Yugyeom and the other person were both guys? It didn’t really matter if they were if they both wanted to hook up for a night. In the end, he didn’t let the situation bother him as much as the two left the fraternity house and began to walk towards the dormitory. It was only when Bambam tripped on air that he realized perhaps going to the dorms was not the best idea. And when the trip made him fall into Sungwoo’s arms, he felt much more drunk than before. He found himself in the other’s light grasp, a very short distance between their faces. He could smell the heavy scent of beer emanating from the other male’s mouth, and then he let out a hiccup which brought the two of them back into reality.

    “How drunk are you Bam? Did you suddenly forget how to walk?”

    Finding whatever strength he possibly could, Bambam attempted to regain his balance and moved back from where he was. “S-Sorry… I’m just tired.”

    “Clearly,” Sungwoo spat back. “Ya know… we probably shouldn’t go home to the dorms. Didn’t your parents rent out an apartment here for you?”

    “N-No. It’s for my s-sister… but she only uses it for emergencies,” Bambam replied as he tried to hold in a burp. He began to blink for a few seconds and was able to recover from the dizziness he had felt.

    “You have the keys though, don’t you? You said she has a spare room for you too.”

    And that was enough to have the two boys walking in the opposite direction of the dormitory, their new destination becoming a rarely used apartment in the city of Seoul. While making the surprisingly short commute, Bambam secretly thanked his family for the extra thought of choosing to get an apartment in the city, even though it was mainly for the benefit of his sister. Both of the siblings had decided to attend university in South Korea and the rest of their family members were more than willing to support.

    No more than fifteen minutes later, they found themselves walking up the steps to reach the fifth floor where the lonely living space would be found. The drunk Thai male continuously found himself tripping on each step and was quite relieved to have Sungwoo available to save him from the possibility of falling down.

    “One more slip and you might die Bam,” He had said with a chuckle.

    As they walked into the apartment, they immediately went in search for the spare bedroom that belonged to Bambam. Passing by the kitchen, Bambam had realized he was a bit hungry as the only item he consumed at the party was beer. However, after a small argument with Sungwoo about how it was too late to eat, he followed the other into the bedroom, a tiny grumble occuring in his stomach. He made a mental note to make himself a huge breakfast as soon as he woke up the next morning, unless his first option was to throw up in the bathroom.

    They entered the bedroom and Sungwoo immediately collapsed onto the far side of the single bed. “It might be a little crowded, but I don’t really wanna sleep on the floor and this is your room. Mind if we share the bed?”

    “Sungwoo, t-there’s a couch in the living room… I can just go s-sleep there if you r-really want me to.”

    “It’s your room… you should be the one sleeping here.”

    “I’m tired. Move over.”

    It is quite surprising how the two managed to fall asleep so easily. The alcohol in their bodies had numbed them quite a bit, forcing them to attempt to regain their vision. Ultimately, their visions faded to black as they allowed sleep to take over. Bambam found it a little funny to notice Sungwoo had begun snoring before he did. He had thought about recording the snoring sounds as a way to embarrass him the next morning, but he began to feel an unexplainable warmth surrounding him. It was a kind and lovable warmth that wrapped itself around the lanky male, and it was that warmth that had rapidly lulled him to sleep.

    However the warmth was nothing compared to the deadly headache from his hangover that awoke him the next morning. Bambam opened his eyes and the first thing he felt was a stinging pain in his head. It felt as if his brain was trying to break out of his skull, resulting in the male groaning out in agony. Feeling as if his head was being crushed in between heavy weights, he decided his best option would be to get up and take painkillers. His stomach rumbled and he reminded himself that he needed to eat as well. As he attempted to get out of bed, he suddenly realized he couldn’t move.

    Looking in the direction of where he felt restraint, he noticed a gentle, tan arm was wrapped around his waist.

_     Oh! Sungwoo! _

    Bambam turned himself over, but was not prepared to be face to face with a sleeping Sungwoo. He let out a tiny gasp and was able to feel a slight warmth rise to his cheeks. Sungwoo’s face was the average oval shape, and Bambam decided to take time to study all of the boy’s interesting features. His nose was small and dainty, his eyelashes at a beautiful length, he remembered the time he had once complained about how Sungwoo’s eyebrows looked perfect without any extra care needed. Bambam’s eyes eventually landed on Sungwoo’s lips. Compared to the Thai male’s, Sungwoo’s lips were thinner, almost appearing to be smaller than usual. Their natural pink color easily standing out from his tan face. 

    And for some reason, Bambam became tempted to…

    “Bam?” The voice was soft, but loud enough to startle.

    Bambam felt his heart jump from fright as Sungwoo had interrupted their silence. He closed his eyes in order to pretend he was still asleep but no other sound escaped from the sleeping male except for his steady breathing. Surprisingly, the arm around his waist seemed to tighten its grip and pull him closer. Once again the room was filled with the unknown warmth he had felt the night before. Without thinking, he nuzzled himself into the other’s chest and allowed sleep to take over him once again.

    An hour or two later, Bambam opened his eyes and felt a chilly breeze press against his body. The warmth he had felt before no longer to be in existence, but this time it was because the side of the bed next to him was completely empty. There was no one holding him anymore, no one laying down next to him, and the boy felt a bit lonely. He quickly proceeded to get up and walk into the living room, pressing a hand against his forehead to help subdue the pain still lingering from the hangover. He had walked throughout the entirety of the apartment, but there was no sign of Sungwoo anywhere. He wasn’t in the kitchen, not in the other bedroom, nor the bathrooms, it was almost as if the earth had swallowed him home.

    Or perhaps he had woken up and simply left.

    As he dropped his body onto the couch in the living room, Bambam felt as if there was something wrong. He couldn’t explain the burning feeling in the middle of his stomach. Was it the after effects of drinking too much? Or was it immense hunger from skipping a meal last night? He couldn’t place a name on this emotion, the only thing he could truly say was that he felt empty. He felt as if something was missing. Suddenly, the thought of building a puzzle came into his mind. Bambam himself was the puzzle and the current emotion upsetting his stomach was a hole desperately in need of the last piece. Without the piece, the puzzle would not be complete, and this only fueled the boy’s curiosity about what the piece could be.

    It was at that moment right there, when the door to the apartment unlocked.

    Sungwoo had walked in, his right hand holding Bambam’s keys while the other held a plastic bag, a familiar smell radiating from it. Bambam stared at Sungwoo for what felt like years, but was really only a few seconds.

    “Oh, I see you’re awake. I hope I didn’t scare you or something, but I woke up and heard your stomach grumble… so um, here.” The older male said as he placed the plastic bag onto the round table in the living room. “I got you take out since I’m a terrible cook and you sounded like you were going to die if you didn’t eat as soon as you were awake.”

    The small, but thoughtful gesture was enough for Bambam’s cheeks to lightly blush. He had hoped the other did not notice, but he allowed a grateful smile to appear across his face. His first instinct was to walk to Sungwoo and embrace him, however he did the exact opposite.

    “Thank you Sungwoo.” It was short, but just enough to express his feelings.

    They sat down together and began to eat, telling jokes or repeating memories from the night before. The two agreed that they would avoid any future frat parties, only to later decide that they would simply just avoid drinking more than they should. Overall, their late afternoon meal was spent laughing and enjoying the small moment together. It was for this reason, that Bambam soon remembered the puzzle and its missing piece. He was still unaware of what it was, but he knew he had found it. What he would not realize was that he would have to spend a very long time attempting to figure out what it was, only to lose it again and spend an even longer time trying to regain it.

    However the current subject seeming to eat away at him was when Sungwoo had him in a tight embrace earlier on. It had been an hour since he had woken, but the topic was never brought up during the conversation. He felt the need to ask about it, since it had been a while since he slept next to someone who made him feel comfortable.

    “Hey Sungwoo,” Bambam finally decided to ask. “Did anything weird happen last night? Like not just at the frat party, but here at the apartment?”

    “Here in the apartment? Nothing exactly weird, but you were snoring pretty loudly while you slept,” Sungwoo replied with a chuckle. “At the frat party… well I mean, we got drunk, and Gyeom ended up leaving with a new friend he made.”

    “And nothing else?”

    “Nope.”

    There was a small sting in the younger boy’s heart, for reasons currently unknown. He wanted to ask further about the intimate scene they had shared when he realized that, unless they were still in that position when Sungwoo woke up, Bambam was truly the only witness of it. Maybe that was why it was never mentioned by the other, he simply had no recollection of the thought. And for some reason, it really seemed to bother him. In the end, he decided to let the thought go in order to go on with the day which was probably his best option. But the small moment continued to linger in the back of his mind.

    A few weeks later, the two were in the campus dance studio waiting for Yugyeom to meet up with them to practice an original choreography they had made together. They had finished stretching when Bambam noticed Sungwoo quietly sitting on the floor with a piece of paper in his hands. He appeared to be drawing something, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and his tongue stuck out just the tiniest bit. Bambam couldn’t die the older of the bunch looked really adorable in the position he was in. He suddenly became tempted to go over and ruffle Sungwoo’s hair, a small sign of affection that let him know he was cute. But as soon as he was about walk over to him, the door opened and in entered Yugyeom.

    “Hey, sorry I’m late! I was hanging out with a friend,” Yugyeom said as he walked over to the two. “Are you guys done stretching? Sungwoo, what are you doing?”

    Looking up, Sungwoo was suddenly broken out of his focused state. “Huh? Oh! Ah, I was trying to make a position sheet, but I really am not good at things like this,” he brought up a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “I guess I should leave this task to Bambam since he’s great at it.”

    Once again, a small blush appeared on Bambam’s cheeks. It was a reaction to an unexpected compliment, signaling he had no other response. Yugyeom took one look at him and immediately understood.

    While practicing their newest routine, Bambam found himself quite distracted by his thoughts. He thought back to the night of the frat party, and how him and Sungwoo had pretty much remained together the entire time. He thought about when he tripped in midair and fell in his arms. He thought about waking up with a tight embrace around his waist. And he thought about the compliment Sungwoo had given him not to long ago. He tried his best to not think of these situations but his resistance proved to be futile. In fact, we was completely distracted that he did not notice he was too close to Yugyeom and tripped over the younger’s foot.

    With a small gasp, Bambam landed on the ground.

    “Whoa Bam! Are you okay?” Sungwoo walked over to where Bambam was now sitting on the floor, a concerned expression on both of their faces.

    “Bammie, it’s not like you to get distracted, especially while dancing. Is something wrong?” Yugyeom kneeled down in front of him to ask.

    “Hmm, as much as I hate to admit it, Gyeom’s right,” Sungwoo said as he sat down next to Bambam. “You sure you’re okay?”

    “I’m fine! I’ll be fine, I just keep thinking of things!” Bambam quickly replied.

    But something was indeed very wrong because the male continued to be distracted through months and months of practice. It wasn’t until their very last dance meeting of the year, when he was pulled into a group hug, that he noticed the warm feeling he had truly missed.

    And Bambam realized he had fallen in love with his best friend Lee Sungwoo.

**Author's Note:**

> hehe hope yall enjoyed the prologue! so the actual first chapter should be up in about a week. I just finished finals as well as my first year of uni so I was so happy I was finally able to upload this! after posting the first chapter, I should be following an update schedule. currently I am debating between posting every week or every two weeks, so please leave your preference down below (please kindly include which day of the week works best for you as well)! also let me know if you want each relationship in each chapter, or one relationship per chapter. the first option means longer chapters and a decent lengthy fic whereas the second option would mean shorter chapters but a pretty long fic. anyways, let me know your preferences ^^! thanks for reading!


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